Lipstick and stubble 1

Being called a woman is not an insult.

With my hair piled high in a bun, manicured nails and a penchant for walking down the pavement as though I were on Tyra’s runway on America’s Next Top Model, many aren’t surprised when I say I’m often mistaken for a woman – they are, however, surprised that I’m not insulted by this. Grab a drink and read along, as I take a few (long) posts to explore my relationship with this increasingly frequent phenomenon in my life. Continue reading

Two guys holding hands

Is gay dating ‘in real life’ nothing more than a fairytale?

After having been single for about six months, I’m ready to meet new people again. To be caught up in the excitement of getting ready for a first date, and to experience the ‘anxiété exquise’ of waiting for a reply to a text message or for a phone call to arrange a second date – not to tell you that it’s not you, it’s them, but you’re a nice person so they’re sure you’ll find someone soon. Anyway, I also know that whoever I do meet, I want to meet in real life, not online, but experience has taught me this is practically the stuff of queer fairytales. Do you think LGBTQIA people can find real happiness in real life? Continue reading

Tom at a pub with friends

LGBT History Month – It’s OK to go Through Phases

This LGBT History Month, I’m writing a series of posts reflecting on my own history; in particular, I want to revisit some of the key moments in my life that affected my relationship with my own sense of gender and my sexuality. Perhaps my experiences and thoughts will be of some use to other people out there in the queer community – and to parents whose children are non-binary or find themselves somewhere on the LGBTQIA spectrum. This is the second of two posts for everyone who’s ever asked themselves whether they’re ‘going through a phase’. Continue reading

Tom with some parrots in Florida

LGBT History Month – It’s OK to go Through a Phase

This LGBT History Month, I’m writing a series of posts reflecting on my own history; in particular, I want to revisit some of the key moments in my life that affected my relationship with my own sense of gender and my sexuality. Perhaps my experiences and thoughts will be of some use to other people out there in the queer community – and to parents whose children are non-binary or find themselves somewhere on the LGBTQIA spectrum. This is the first of two posts for everyone who’s ever asked themselves whether they’re ‘going through a phase’. Continue reading

Tom at his prom

LGBT History Month – School can be Miserable for Queer Kids

This LGBT History Month, I’m writing a series of posts reflecting on my own history; in particular, I want to revisit some of the key moments in my life that affected my relationship with my own sense of gender and my sexuality. Perhaps my experiences and thoughts will be of some use to other people out there in the queer community – and to parents whose children are non-binary or find themselves somewhere on the LGBTQIA spectrum. This one’s for every queer kid having a miserable time at school. Continue reading

Tom and his dad

LGBT History Month – It’s OK for a Boy to Want to Kiss Another Boy

This LGBT History Month, I’m writing a series of posts reflecting on my own history; in particular, I want to revisit some of the key moments in my life that affected my relationship with my own sense of gender and my sexuality. Perhaps my experiences and thoughts will be of some use to other people out there in the queer community – and to parents whose children are non-binary or find themselves somewhere on the LGBTQIA spectrum. This one’s also for the parents, an addendum to the ‘birds and the bees’ conversation, perhaps. Continue reading

January calendar

Metablog – January 2015

It felt as though I spent January shuffling backwards up a mountain made entirely of treacle whilst juggling cacti. I think it’s the same for a lot of people, but then I believe we’re trained to think that way about the first month of the year. The days are still short, payday always seems like years, rather than days, away and we’re encouraged to band together in this perfect month-long grey melancholy. I managed to remind myself that the ‘January blues’ are completely fabricated on many an occasion; they’re not inherent to humans like, say, eyes. And, anyway, we didn’t always have a ‘January’, did we? Continue reading