October felt as though it went by even quicker than most other months have done so far this year. It was a month full of change, but so much has stayed the same. Isn’t that how it always goes, though? I’ve kept thinking back to what I wrote last month about seeing people do the very things I want to do, speaking creatively and professionally, and worrying about finding the commitment and motivation to to the same.
I realise, writing this post, that September was the one-year anniversary of this blog. I should be celebrating (I think), but all I can do is look at what I believe is a pretty meagre archive full of half-finished projects and series and feel a little despondent. There’s nothing in me that wants to stop writing or get rid of this, but I am wondering what the next 12 months will hold.
Once again, I’ve managed to make it practically halfway through the month without writing a metablog post. Mind you, things have been a lot more manic than I thought they would be over the last few weeks and this just wasn’t a priority.
Are you sure that was a full month? I ask because it didn’t feel like one to me; July felt like no more than a couple of non-stop weekdays spliced together with dinner round a friend’s house. It went by so quickly. And, since everyone else appears to be saying it, I’ll join in: it’ll be Christmas before we know it.
June left me absolutely exhausted – but in a good way. After my nine-to-five, I came home and worked on bits and pieces for The Portsmouth and Southsea Consortium: Etsy Craft Party 2015, Etsy Made Local 2015, the Southsea Night Markets… People often underestimate exactly how much time things like these take. It meant that pretty much everything else went on the back burner, but I still managed to find the time for a couple of posts on here…
As I was putting my lamentations into words for my previous post, about being unable to approach a beautiful stranger and try to get his telephone number or give him mine, I discussed the events with friends online; they asked me whether or not I’d thought about trying to find his man, to use the technology at my disposal to create an opportunity to meet him once again. When I said that I hadn’t, they took it upon themselves to try and help create this for me.
Back in April, I wrote about how, after being single six months, I was ready to meet people. I spoke about the ‘queer fairytale’ of offline LGBTQIA dating, and how I’d rather stay single than find someone online again. Well, an opportunity presented itself just the other day for me to at least approach, in real life, someone I found really attractive and find out whether he was a) single and b) interested. And I completely fucked it up.
I can’t believe I’ve made it halfway through the month without being able to sit down and find the 30 minutes I typically need to write one of these metablog posts. I’m sure there have been little pockets of time I could have put to better use, but having not yet felt ‘in the zone’ to do this, I guess it’s OK. I’m happy that I’m remembering to take the time to write these posts, as they really are helping me, at the very least, not forget about this blog.
With my hair piled high in a bun, manicured nails and a penchant for walking down the pavement as though I were on Tyra’s runway on America’s Next Top Model, many aren’t surprised when I say I’m often mistaken for a woman – they are, however, surprised that I’m not insulted by this. Grab a drink and read along, as I take a few (long) posts to explore my relationship with this increasingly frequent phenomenon in my life.
Well, I’m a few days later getting this up than I would have liked; however, when this comes around as a testament to how busy I’ve been doing things that fuel my creativity and move me in the direction of the career I would love, then I guess I can’t complain at all!